Healing heartbreak & the 5 stages of grief with crystals

Crystals themselves can not offer a complete “cure” from grief, but can help heal heartbreak & the 5 stages of grief, when used alongside counselling and conventional medicine.

The reason crystal stones heal heartbreak and grief events is that they can, “bolster your resolve” to get through by acting as a talisman, and increase the energies to the affected chakras so you heal holistically.

Sylvies Spirit - Rose quartz
Sylvies Spirit - Rose quartz
Sylvies Spirit - Green Aventurine
Sylvies Spirit - Green Aventurine
Sylvies Spirit - Orange Carnelian
Sylvies Spirit - Orange Carnelian
Sylvies Spirit - Rhodonite
Sylvies Spirit - Rhodonite
Sylvies Spirit - Amethyst
Sylvies Spirit - Amethyst

5 stages of grief model

Swiss psychiatrist, Kübler-Ross first introduced the five stage grief model which I personally have found useful to come to terms with heartbreak & grief events. She separates grief into five stages:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance
Use crystals to mend a broken heart

Example of the “5 stages of grief”: My friend has split from her guy, a couple of months ago, and she comes over for a chat once a week.

She has firmly put “denial” behind her now as she has got over the “shock” that life changed “in an instant” when she spilt. 

She realises she will survive but is “up and down”, which is causes “anger” and “depression”.

We have many conversations where she doubts herself, so she is “bargaining” and feeling guilty as she thinks she could have done more. (Frankly, she couldn’t have done more!)

However, on the whole she knows she did all she could, and is definitely on her way to “acceptance”.

5 stages of grief model - Can be applied to

I have long felt that these “5  stages of grief” can apply, not just to the loss of a loved one.

You can grieve for:

  • A “material object”, like a car. When you have a car accident, where the car is written off, it will cause huge change and quite often self doubt.
  • A “situation” like retirement or getting made redundant, brings huge a “change” of lifestyle, this can be daunting.
  • The loss of a friend after a disagreement.

5 stages of grief model - Crystal stones rationale

Crystal stones have been used for centuries as talisman and they bring people a great deal of comfort, so today we are going to look at the 5 stages of grief and match a few crystal stones to each stage.

Crystal stones can change your energy and open you up to “restoration” of “you”. Remember this is “your” time now, think of this as a new beginning, and place your trust in your chosen crystal so that it can rebalance your body, mind and spirit.

You can use your crystal stones to:

  • Protect you as you heal
  • Heal heartbreak
  • Lift mood
  • Heal the physical symptoms caused by grief
  • Enable you to “move on”

5 stages of grief model - Crystals & chakra energy

You’ll hear me talk about chakras a lot when it comes to crystals, as each is associated with a chakra.

Chakras are spinning disks of energy that resonate with your body, they need to be balanced for you to find comfort in your “skin”.

With balanced chakras you will find a greater sense of peace for body, mind and spirit which enable you to better deal with “change”.

You will also need to address your chakra energies after a big “change” has happened, as this will invariably mean certain chakras will have depleted energy.

Feeling low? At a crossroads?

Sad face

1.Select one of the crystals on this website & check out which chakra it associates with.

2.Download our FREE chakra guide today! 

“Empower & enable” yourself to:

  • Make sense of where you are at
  • Take a positive step
  • Make better choices

Find time for “you”!

Crystal stones for the 5 stages of grief - Must have crystal

I want to emphasise green aventurine for you, as it is associated with the heart chakra, and it acts as “armour” for your emotions, whilst you are in your time of change. 

Emotionally it also protects against energy vampires, who pray on others discomfort, and will enable you to avoid them. Energy vampires will say they’ll help you, and then expect too much of you in return, draining your energy further.

Health wise, green aventurine will help settle nausea caused by turbulent feelings, as its positive energy embraces you and renews optimism for life.

Green aventurine will revitalise you, restoring your confidence – and will urge you to get out of the “rut” that grief causes.

Sylvies Spirit - Green Aventurine
Sylvies Spirit - Green Aventurine

5 stages of grief - Denial

The reason you are in “shock” is because life as you knew it, even if you have taken the hard decision to change your circumstance – will never be the same again.

Humans are hard-wired to fear change through both nature and nurture. 

We are habit driven creatures, and in ancestral times when our driver was survival, a “change” could threaten that survival.

So, for example: Draught would undoubtedly threaten survival. The hard wiring is still in us today, even though we live in civilised society where draught wouldn’t affect us, so  “change” will still feel like a “threat” to survival.

Crystal stone that addresses denial - Rhodonite

Rhodonite heals emotional shock and panic which is why I have placed it in the “denial” phase. It stimulates the heart chakra by clearing past debris and acts to ground energy.

When your energy is grounded, you will have firm foundations to rebuild.

Rhodonite balances yin-yang, which will also help when your mood shifts through the stages of grief.

Sylvies Spirit - Rhodonite
Sylvies Spirit - Rhodonite

5 stages of grief - Anger

As the reality hits home that “nothing will be the same again” after your “change”, there will be entirely natural frustrations, these can lead to anger.

You will go through a stage where you look at everyone else going about their day and think, “why me?” Or “life’s not fair!” Blaming others too is natural, although shouldn’t be sustained, or you won’t move on.

Occasionally we direct our anger to close friends and family, as frankly we instinctively know, they will always love us. Again, this is fine, as long as you are quick to recognise what you are doing and apologise.

Crystal stone that addresses anger - Amethyst

I have placed purple amethyst in the “anger” phase as it is well rounded and versatile.

It activates the third eye chakra helping “intuitive” thought, which will help you rationalise your emotions, before they turn to anger.

Amethyst reduces “inflamed emotions” too,  so anger can dissipate leaving a sense of peace and tranquillity.

Sylvies Spirit - Amethyst
Sylvies Spirit - Amethyst

5 stages of grief - Bargaining

Bargaining begins with saying, “what if?” and that can be followed by feelings of guilt, and you saying, “could I have done more to resolve the problem?”

With couples who are on the brink of splitting up, if both parties can sit down and do the “bargaining stage” together, and will “admit” they have had a part to play in the demise of the relationship, it can be the start of a compromise and resolution. Couples counselling would be a good step in this case.

“Guilt” is also part of the bargaining stage, so even if you can put your hand on your heart and say you gave 110% to your relationship, you will still feel “guilt”.

The “guilt” comes from being a compassionate person, who genuinely doesn’t want to cause anyone else pain, however, you have to realise this is part of life journey.

Crystal stone that addresses bargaining - Carnelian

Orange carnelian represents self belief and as such is going to be brilliant to stop you “bargaining”, so you can move on.

Carnelian brings a more grounded energy and loads of “courage” so you can get back out there with confidence, and when you are ready pursue romantic relationships.

Sylvies Spirit - Orange Carnelian
Sylvies Spirit - Orange Carnelian

5 stages of grief - Depression

Depression is a commonly accepted form of grief and heartbreak, and it is entirely natural, and nothing to be worried about unless you feel it has continued for too long.

If this is the case I would personally recommend counselling, as talking therapy is amazing! And seeing a doctor as there are medications to stabilise mood, which can then help you have a clearer head space to work through the 5 stages of grief.

Depression represents the emptiness we feel, when the reality hits that the situation is gone or over. 

For me, when I have suffered loss, I have definitely suffered with depression.

My top tip would be to keep a diary to track progress. Even if you can’t write anything, put yourself a score out of ten, ten being the most positive and 1 the least.

The when you look back, you will see good days and bad days, but will ultimately see progress as you move through the 5 stages of grief.

Crystal stone that addresses depression - Rose Quartz

The beautiful pink rose quartz as it’s a great crystal stone to bring about self-compassion, which is why I have placed it in the “depression” phase, so you can remember to be “kind to yourself” at this challenging time. 

Associated with the heart chakra, rose quartz can help bring in more peaceful energy to soothe emotions.

You might not want new love and new beginnings immediately after heartbreak, but the gentle energy of rose quartz will help you when you are ready to move on too.

Sylvies Spirit - Rose quartz
Sylvies Spirit - Rose quartz

5 stages of grief - Acceptance

The last stage of grief identified by Kübler-Ross is acceptance. It’s not that “it is all ok again”, it is “that you are going to be ok again”.

Emotions begin to stabilise in time after grief and heartbreak, as you enter your “new reality”, and get into a daily routine again.

Crystal stone that addresses acceptance -Malachite

Malachite (green crystal) represents transformation, and perception, so you can answer your “bargaining” questions, and move on to a new chapter of your life.

Malachite is associated with the heart chakra so can be used to find new love, clearing out the harmful negative energies, which is why I have placed it in the “acceptance” phase, so you can now move on.

Human beings find happiness by being with a partner, so moving on is acceptable, and you should not feel guilt over this.

Sylvies Spirit - Malachite
Sylvies Spirit - Malachite

Crystal stone that addresses acceptance - Emerald

Emerald is a beautiful green crystal, associated with Venus, so you when you feel you can move on to another romantic relationship, it will open and nurture your heart.

Sylvies Spirit - Emerald
Sylvies Spirit - Emerald

Not making great choices?

Making bad decisions?

1.Select one of the crystals on this website & check out which chakra it associates with.

2.Download our FREE chakra guide today! 

3. Realise what is holding you back

Find yourself and:

  • Learn how to bring energy to the chakra that is causing the issue
  • Start working towards “your” solution.

Life live on “your own” terms!

Crystal stones for the 5 stages of grief - how to use crystals

Wearing crystals: The simplest way to use a crystal is to wear it as a talisman. If you “place your trust” in the power of the crystal it will energise and help you get through the grief and heartbreak “change” you are experiencing.

Creating an altar with crystals: Use crystals for prayer, ritual, or meditation for grief and heartbreak. 

Crystals under your pillow: Choosing a gentle crystal like Rose quartz and placing it under your pillow can help to keep your energies in “gentle” alignment after grief and heartbreak. 

Crystals by your bedside: Change often causes “anxiety”, causing bad dreams from the grief and heartbreak. Use a protective crystal by your beside, like selenite, to find better sleep.

Read more on Selenite in my White and clear crystals meanings blog.

Crystals & healing affirmations: Healing affirmations can be said after grief and heartbreak, and holding your crystal will reenergise the chakra associated with the crystal and the message that you are speaking.

Always cleanse your crystals regularly as they will start to carry the negative emotions, as they absorb the energy from you, you can read more on this in my, 7 Easy ways to cleanse/charge crystal stones blog.

Crystal stones for the 5 stages of grief - Your recovery

If you think of grief as a small child standing next to you tugging at your skirt, the sooner you acknowledge the child and start a conversation with it, the sooner it will stop tugging. 

Remember grief is a natural process and that “time heals” – you will get there!

Namaste x